In this one year.
22 May 2012 4 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: friendships, life, love, reading, travel, vacation
I am coming back to writing on my blog page after more than a year! That’s not too much of good but then again i gave a lot to this past one year. I learnt a lot more, i traveled new places, i reconnected with myself. I do intend to write more often now, get the thoughts down in words, write more about things i see and more importantly i feel.
I learnt about myself that i truly can take on completely unknown new stuff. Right from the time i pursued law, i have been on with stuff totally unrelated to legal studies. Joining work that i loved seemed like the most natural thing to do. One year into work taking on something that is not my “core domain knowledge” taught me that i do actually have the innate capability to learn amazingly fast and become a knowledge holder. It translates into something very strong about myself- the fact that i can do new stuff every time i want to.
I traveled a lot during this past year. I did some really fun trips while i was in Delhi packing my bags and just heading out and lot of work trips. I learnt that i trust almost impromptu and as much as this can hurt it’s been a wonderful experience all this while. I traveled with people i “hardly knew” and went over to people i “hardly knew”. All the time its been wonderful experiences and so much fun. Trusting people is a cool thing to do, i learnt.
I transformed new friendships into long lasting relationships. As my first work place and a city i wasn’t too sure of, i met amazing new people and made friends. They have now become relationships for life and i learnt i am not that bad a person after all.
I learnt what office culture is about, how feelings and emotions are still a part of the cultural blood at small and socially driven organisations. I saw colleagues leave and learnt that corporate culture is very different from the socially driven organisations. I learnt that questions like “how are you driving a larger social agenda” become critical in the space i am working in. That these questions matter to every person who is a part of this movement.
I tried change. I experimented with change at a personal level, i moved out of the comfort zone i had set for myself and it did not work out perfect. I learnt a city grows on you and at the same time you can come back to a familiar place like a perfect stranger! I realized distances become exponential and i can get lonely.
I met some really wonderful people along the way. I had moments and days of unexpected bliss and it helped me with my personal pain.
I fell in love and it broke a lot of my personal myths. I was of course also stupid and stupidly fearful of losing him and did not tell him enough how much he had become to me and did mange to lose him at the end. I am now waiting to fall out of the love i felt for this man. I also learnt i ain’t cut out for rebounds and that sex is totally over rated for me.
I started visiting my folks more often and realized they are getting older and i want more time with them even if it means spending most of it just convincing them why marriage is not my ultimate settling down plan.
I feared for my little brother more as he got into accidents and every time i learnt life really is that sensitive.
I saw a lot of close friends get married- arranged and love both. I saw the movement from apprehensions to acceptance of the idea to the pen ultimate question- why the hell am i doing this? I was a part of merriment, beautiful colors, grandeur and celebrations. I saw the pheras ceremony closely and it moved me- the vows that the two people take. I learnt that i am not there yet, mentally, to get into the institution.
I read some really interesting books. Stories that took me into a realm of characters and what we make of them. A lot of these stories made me want a home in the mountains and a baby.
I reconnected with friends i thought i had lost for life. But they walked right back in and its beautiful having them back.
I got a new tattoo and realized my threshold for pain somehow is a test for my mind as to how much i can really endure. Surprisingly its not so strong when it comes to the matters of the heart.
I lied at a lot of personal levels and am always hoping it doesn’t hurt me too much in the longer run.
I got truly inspired by the entrepreneur stories around me and have my own dream shaping up.
I put a closure on a chapter in my life and it feels good personally. I also learnt i will give it all up for a man i really fall for. I can hold my ground in my profession, nobody can challenge me there,but i will bow down to a mans will in my personal life.
The last one year has been an amazing roller coaster ride and such a rush. And now i want to get back to writing more.
Love Always Around Me!
22 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
Its interesting what BlogAdda and “Life is what you make it” have brought about on ‘Stages of Love’. Whats nice is what they say ” Because love isn’t only celebrated by partners after all. We are celebrating love at your adda. Share your love journey between you and your parents, siblings, friends, partner, kids and even pets!”
Love in my life grew right from the time i guess i saw how we were treated at home. My folks had a very typical eloped marriage. My dad being a fauji met my mom on one of his tenures in Dilli back in the summer of ’83. He was there in the HQ to get his posting orders, instead getting his posting cancelled so that he could stay on and woo my mom! He did manage that and what followed was a very typical bollywood saga. She being a punjaban wasnt accepted as the bahu and he being a kumaoni was not the ‘match’ my grandparents would have preferred. They eloped, got married and started a family with I being the first baby. Post marriage they fell into the usual family life pattern, it didnt matter to them that what one liked in the other and what they liked for each other! The kids became the centre of the universe and for him since he was growing up in his service his work was all he needed.
Interestingly they never told us that they belong to different parts of the country or that they have had a ‘love marriage’. For i and my little brother mom was always a kumaoni, although i was always curious how she spoke punjabi with her cousins etc. It was only when i turned 18 that my cousin told me the complete story! You can imagine my shock, excitement, bewilderment on discovering this!
The love between evolved as we grew up. As a kid i dont remember seeing my father too much at home and my mom was always too busy making us grow up as perfect kids! There love that time centered around what their kids become, what part of their lives they give to us. Once i had left home the moment i turned 18 and my brother followed two years later, they had time for themselves, for each other. I had always heard that testing times try your love for each other and that stands totally true for my folks. They fought, almost got a divorce and were so difficult that it amazed me! But then i saw a change in what they were becoming. My folks started doing little things for each other. It mattered to my mom that it was his birthday and she should get him something. It became important to my dad that if he is travelling somewhere he get her a little something.
I notice that there is that little something that keeps them bound together. They still find a lot of stuff annoying about each other, my mom still tells me at times ‘of all the gadhas written in my luck i find this one’. And yet they can never walk away from each other. Especially now when they don’t have the kids as their mission and have each other to be with completely. For me this is still the love story that i would want to have (yeah ok its a spot tied with DDLJ).
Love also means how i can be to people around me. My mom has been working with disabled children for over 3 years now and every time i see her with the little children, teaching the same thing every day and going back the next day knowing they don’t remember a thing amazes me! She come back home every evening knowing that the kids remember her fondly and goes back every morning that she has them around her. It given me the ability to see what unconditional love is all about. Just being able to give the kids those 5-6 hrs of un-matched happiness makes her smile throughout the day. This kind of love is what i believe i can imbibe in my life at every stage and take it forward.
Define “able body” for me will you?
30 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
Its been a while since i wrote here and yeah its been all about getting caught in the “new work new life” maze! There have been some topics in conversations, at work, just around me that i have wanted to put to paper but well just haven’t been doing that. So here goes after quite a break.
This one has got to do with my conversation the other day with my mother who works very closely with little children who are disabled. Now i don’t use the term with any solid ascription to the social usage, but being a legal person that’s the term that i have always used. She spends almost 5 hours with little children with various forms of disability and i do join her at her school when i go back home for vacations. She was talking to me the other day on how these children were growing up and how their chances at a normal life were so bleak.
I instantly related it to my work space where under the “Accessibility Initiative” we try to get more and more companies become sensitive towards this population. What was interesting is what my mother said and what the world perceives of disability. She said that ,”these children are just brought up with a mindset that there is just as much they can do and it’s we “able body people” who decide it”. It instantly made me relate to the way recruiters look at hiring from this segment of population. These individuals can or cannot do a job according to what we decide!
So bring whatever law you want, whatever you impose as reservations etc we will still have barriers. When these children don’t grow up believing that they are as much humans and capable as we are, how are we ever going to create an environment where they are accepted? Isn’t it time we accept the fact that we don’t deal with the problem right from its bud, we just want a superficial closure. If parents aren’t made to believe that every individual is able and has the right to a dignified life, then how will they bring up their children as resources of a nation?
Making an all-inclusive society needs redefining the terms not after the individual has been let into the big cruel world on his own but right from the time he/she takes birth. It’s pertinent to invest in mainstreaming these children right from childhood and then making them face the world. To redefine ‘able” is what we need to do to ensure that they live with as much dignity as anyone else.
The Youth, The Reservations and Super power India!!
25 Mar 2010 2 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: army children, india, management schools, politics, reservation, rights, women, youth
Past couple of weeks have been very exciting for the country. We managed getting the Women reservation Bill through, Save the Earth by switching off the lights has become a huge campaign, virtual world becoming a factor for social cause has become huge and many more such events. I have been following these trends closely and reading comments, blogs about this stuff. Whats struck me has been the underlying current of focus on the youth, the school children, college students, young working people etc.
I can probably write about a lot of things here and link them but i somehow drew a connection between a few things i read. A post on what IIM-B has shown , the women reservation bill and the discussions surrounding them and what it means to me and this small initiative on facebook by kids of defence personnels.
The Reservation law has been discussed in detail all over with all its aspects being dissected and the whole topic of equality coming back to hound us. Honestly whether or not “Protective and Positive discrimination” is good or not is very contextual. India with all its myriad of cultural, traditional, religious dichotomies and adding to that its experiments with all kinds of reservations, does have what i can call a very skewed under standing of development. How and what of it is something i am sure can be a whole range of discussion all over again, but here i am drawing a link between this “ground breaking law” and the IIM-B news. The reservation law has been hailed as something that will bring in women to the political juncture and we will have the new age woman striding ahead in policy discussion process. The men all around have been talking about how getting more youth participating in this process is also needed. The Congress drew upon it young and vibrant band of leaders to get mileage in elections and still does actually. So reservation coming should actually be a reason for the youth and young women to get out and be there- becoming a part of the policy deciding structure right. despite what ever is being said and spoken about it shouldn’t it be something that positively encourages me to stand in the elections and try and become a part of that system? So for that comes the whole range of debate of this law helping only the “women from strong and powerful families” and what it will become. I am wondering then that are we such skeptics and actually have no faith in the “not so powerful family women” doing well. And secondly we have a lot of young people discussing this aspect too and therefore this kind of skepticism should have probably been followed by discussion on what this can mean as a future for young women who should get into politics. Maybe i have missed those kind of discussions but why is it that its not been so resounding! here i bring in the IIM-B post which is an indicator to me of what the youth is thinking actually. The organisation had absolutely no takers for social development sector despite the fact that the fee was being waived! two things disturb me- 1. the institution has to bring a “fee return” clause to make the social development field become lucrative! 2. A student saying that if “the trend catches up probably students will take it up”. Now when i read this i am able to draw a link between why a step like reservation which can be made a new step ahead has become a skeptical topic! If we have the Generation next not looking at social development as “lucrative” or “enterprising” or anything at all actually! So then how do we leverage this whole segment called “that-women-in-a-simple-life”? Why then do we complain that only the powerful will leverage this opportunity at all? The SC/ST reservation had a whole history that was not only started out wrong but also became a skewed reality when implemented. But why can’t we look at having more seats in the parliament etc as that one step at getting into the change mechanism! Are realities only meant to be dealt by “jhandaadhaari group”, only for speeches and not for the youth to get into at all! I look back at my under graduation days of law and the fact that out of a batch of 100 students in the college and many more in the university i was the only student who pursued human rights! There is nothing to boast about it but i do remember what my colleagues had to say. There were things like “i would rather have a safe career option” “i am not cut out for this” “you are passionate about causes”! So really are we to blame for this whole process of condemning the reservation law too soon without even realizing its worth!
I will say yes to this. The women today have this as an opportunity to utilize. maybe it is unfair on the men, i am no feminist, but then why not make social development a career choice? I look at this as a dismal portrayal of what we are becoming. Just like many other things we will dissect, post mortem everything and talk and discuss. But it isn’t “lucrative” so well why try it. Am i disheartened completely? Not really actually. I see discussions like these and i know there is a segment of youth which is talking. They are people who have seen what giving is all about. Coming from the defence the discussions there are what i call passionate and thought provoking. Am i biased? I come from the forces myself so yes i probably am but then i see that at least this can be taken forward. The youth is creating a dialogue of prospective roles in the politics of this country. Maybe that is the way forward which needs nurturing and guidance. Even if it is a group somewhere on a virtual world it’s at least something that makes me optimist and a believer that i will see some young guns break it out in the world of policy making soon.
Census to Become Disabled Friendly!
22 Mar 2010 2 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: census, disability, education, india, javed abidi, medical health, NEPEDP, services
2011 will now be a more interesting year in terms of the Census happening and the population getting to be enumerated in the database. What is being discussed now is who all will be included in the census and what parameters will enumeration include. The disability sector has taken it as the next step to ensuring that the disabled in the country are no more invisible and have a more resounding voice in the matters concerning them. The news rooms have been constantly writing about what NCPEDP the National Centre for Promotion of Employment for Disabled People an NGO has been doing for the same. As a first step it has got the government to include question related to disability and train the people who will be volunteering for the census process. Very effectively the organisation has been able to bring out how the enumeration process was a regular exercise in the British era and then was lost out! The census in 2001 had only one question and was hugely ineffective in getting the numbers right.
The disability sector has had to fight many a battles to ensure that they are given access to their rights and also at some level given protective discrimination for their growth. What came about with that is guarantees in form of laws and policies which were aimed at providing a growth stimulus for the disabled of the country. It becomes pertinent to note that though the law has been place for the longest time now whether or not it has been effectively implemented has been debated, discussed and brought to the government’s notice repeatedly. The laws though clearly indicate about how children with disabilities should be given inclusive eduaction, workplaces should become more disabled friendly, health facilities should become more readily available for the disabled and plethora of reports and findings by organisations etc stressing on the need to make the spaces around us more disabled friendly , the truth remained that the disabled did not get their due. Umpteen reports and investigations and studies indicated how the diabled were being condemned to a life which was dependent on others help, charity and whims of the abled.
With the enumeration demanded in the up coming census there are people discussing if this will help at all? With the implementing machinery in India always being at its worst its worth asking if it will really help to know how many disabled actually live in the country?
I believe that the numbers being accounted for will have a certain impact on how we look at disability as an issue in the country. Look at how the situation stands now- An access audit done by NCPEDP in colleges in Delhi gave a dismal state of affairs of the accessibility of the colleges. The reason that was glaring in the face is lack of awareness amongst the community. The same stands true for almost all the other sectors like employment etc. Lack of awareness, insensitivity by the abled community, poorly guided schemes are in some sense out comes of a collective voice being easily ignored. The disabled have been un accounted for in the counting of the people and therefore their statistics stand at whatever someone reads or hears from organisations etc. This does have an impact on how the “majority abled community” perceives disability. Enumeration in the census is expected to increase the numbers from the present 2.7% to about 5-6% which in terms of “inclusive” policy formulation and amendment of present laws becomes a big number. Service providance for the diabled and inclusive practices at educational institutes, work places, public places etc is a big problematic issue that has been the topic of discussion for a lot of decades and yet nothing seems to be done . The numbers being changed with the enumeration could mean that there will be acknowledgment of the fact that things have to be changed for the disabled.
Larger numbers always have an impact on the social psyche too. The society that has also been a hurdle in acceptance and mainstreaming of the disabled could become more sensitive by the numbers being brought about and told to the public. The public at large has always been affected when numbers have been portrayed to them in complete ways and the concept of charity and pity can give way to inclusive living and mainstreaming. Advocacy of disabled rights will also get a big leap when the numbers come out right and the community can seek increased grants, funds etc for the realization of rights of the disabled community. It is essential to keep in mind that the allocation of grants, funds, schemes are based upon the official numbers that a community has and therefore for the disabled section to be able to assert for more medical services, more grants for assisted mechanisms the increased correct numbers will hold a real value. Medical research and further technological advancement will also depend on the increased numbers becoming official and a part of notifications and government papers.
The disabled have been fighting for the realisation of their rights for a long time now and the up coming census will be a test for coming through of the campaign. The state’s real effectiveness will be show cased when the people doing the census are sensitised on the question to be asked during the census relating to disability. The state has been on the back foot for too long on the rights of the disabled and the census is that first step forward for this community to move ahead.
Happy Birthday Dear Brother
18 Mar 2010 3 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: 22, birthday, deepak bhagat, pictures
This ones to celebrate my little brother’ 22nd birthday…
Remember this always kid..YOU make us proud and no matter what you will always have all our love:)
Here’s chronicling your journey through pictures i found:)
Thats them before you came in as a little angel:)
Thats the time you were angry coz i took away your balloon!!
You hated me again here..I took away your biscuits in this one!!lol
It was always fun knowing you were the younger one and i could bully you;)
Remember those times when we did this often 
You two are my fav men always:)
When you chose what you wanted in life and your first 3 months there..It was amazing seeing you change from that li’le boy to a MAN:)
Your first chutti home:)
We do look awesome here:)
Love that smile of Yours..
She has always loved you the most:)
The lovely people you made friends for life:)
i have always loved this one:)
Thats your growing up in the fauj:)
Keep the laughs rolling:)
Your life as a cadet:)
I believe this life has given it all to you:)
THE proudest moment for us:)
Their rockstar always:)
and miles you see before you:)
your brothers for life:)fauj really is all that matters
I Possibly can never ever tell you in words how much you mean to me.
I have hated you like crazy when you complained to mom about me when we were kids..I have prayed i never wanted a sibling when you took away my books..I loved bullying you and then you got taller than me..Just when i thought time is what we have in abundance you joined army..I miss you every day bhai..I love you every minute and i wish for all your wishes to come true every second.
Remember the people you meet and who mattered..Keep realism the mantra for life and yet dream like you created everything.Love yourself first and foremost and then try the cliche’ and the stories. Remember you belong to THE INDIAN DEFENCE SERVICES and theres nothing bigger than that:)
Happy Birthday little one..
Loads of love…
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