In this one year.

I am coming back to writing on my blog page after more than a year! That’s not too much of good but then again   i gave a lot to this past one year. I learnt a lot more, i traveled new places, i reconnected with myself. I do intend to write more often now, get the thoughts down in words, write more about things i see and more importantly i feel.

I learnt about myself that i truly can take on completely unknown new stuff. Right from the time i pursued law, i have been on with stuff totally unrelated to legal studies. Joining work that i loved seemed like the most natural thing to do. One year into work taking on something that is not my “core domain knowledge” taught me that i do actually have the innate capability to learn amazingly fast and become a knowledge holder. It translates into something very strong about myself- the fact that i can do new stuff every time i want to.

I traveled a lot during this past year. I did some really fun trips while i was in Delhi packing my bags and just heading out and lot of work trips. I learnt that i trust almost impromptu and as much as this can hurt it’s been a wonderful experience all this while. I traveled with people i “hardly knew” and went over to people i “hardly knew”. All the time its been wonderful experiences and so much fun. Trusting people is a cool thing to do, i learnt.

I transformed new friendships into long lasting relationships. As my first work place and a city i wasn’t too sure of, i met amazing new people and made friends. They have now become relationships for life and i learnt i am not that bad a person after all.

I learnt what office culture is about, how feelings and emotions are still a part of the cultural blood at small and socially driven organisations. I saw colleagues leave and learnt that corporate culture is very different from the socially driven organisations. I learnt that questions like “how are you driving a larger social agenda” become critical in the space i am working in. That these questions matter to every person who is a part of this movement.

I tried change. I experimented with change at a personal level, i moved out of the comfort zone i had set for myself and it did not work out perfect. I learnt a city grows on you and at the same time  you can come back to a familiar place like a perfect stranger! I realized distances become exponential and i can get lonely.

I met some really wonderful people along the way. I had moments and days of unexpected bliss and it helped me with my personal pain.

I fell in love and it broke a lot of my personal myths. I was of course also stupid and stupidly fearful of losing him and did not tell him enough how much he had become to me and did mange to lose him at the end. I am now waiting to fall out of the love i felt for this man. I also learnt i ain’t cut out for rebounds and that sex is totally over rated for me.

I started visiting my folks more often and realized they are getting older and i want more time with them even if it means spending most of it just convincing them why marriage is not my ultimate settling down plan.

I feared for my little brother more as he got into accidents and every time i learnt life really is that sensitive.

I saw a lot of close friends get married- arranged and love both. I saw the movement from apprehensions to acceptance of the idea to the pen ultimate question- why the hell am i doing this? I was a part of merriment, beautiful colors, grandeur and celebrations. I saw the pheras ceremony closely and it moved me- the vows that the two people take. I learnt that i am not there yet, mentally, to get into the institution.

I read some really interesting books. Stories that took me into a realm of characters and what we make of them. A lot of these stories made me want a home in the mountains and a baby.

I reconnected with friends i thought i had lost for life. But they walked right back in and its beautiful having them back.

I got a new tattoo and realized my threshold for pain somehow is a test for my mind as to how much i can really endure. Surprisingly its not so strong when it comes to the matters of the heart.

I lied at a lot of personal levels and am always hoping it doesn’t hurt me too much in the longer run.

I got truly inspired by the entrepreneur stories around me and have my own dream shaping up.

I put a closure on a chapter in my life and it feels good personally. I also learnt i will give it all up for a man i really fall for. I can hold my ground in my profession, nobody can challenge me there,but i will bow down to a mans will in my personal life.

The last one year has been an amazing roller coaster ride and such a rush. And now i want to get back to writing more.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Naresh Babu
    May 23, 2012 @ 01:53:15

    First half reminds of the first half of the last Hindi movie i saw … can’t rem the name….btb what were you tripping on when you came up with the last few lines. just curious is it plain talking/maybe you have changed/or maybe i don’t know you much?
    oh yea.. like the changes on the blog and good luck for the current year trip

    Reply

    • meghabhagat
      May 23, 2012 @ 10:29:10

      would love to know the hindi movie name:) i never did think we know each other much! but then again how much do we really know people around us!

      Reply

      • Naresh
        May 23, 2012 @ 14:34:49

        hahaha… well i was pointing out these lines “I also learnt i will give it all up for a man i really fall for. I can hold my ground in my profession, nobody can challenge me there,but i will bow down to a mans will in my personal life.” that’s pretty hard, that’s the reason i asked. Was not trying to suggest/remind that we don’t know each other ‘much’ or not, merely curious to know about whatever made you come out with those lines… for me its evident that you had a rough ride sometime last year. Correct me if i am wrong.

      • meghabhagat
        May 24, 2012 @ 10:47:45

        Well that’s a truth i realized about myself in one last year. Hard or not hard it’s something that came as an experience. So nope no rough rides at all:)

  2. Ishma Siddiqi
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 18:59:10

    It’s nice to see how you have looked at the glass half full. 🙂

    Reply

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Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

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